What’s in a Name?

Well it’s been official for about a month now, I’m finally divorced. Do I feel any different? Have I changed since I got the piece of paper? Well, in a word, no, I don’t feel any different to be honest. Reading the words on the paper that my marriage is now dissolved actually brought a tear to my eye. Not because I still want to be married, but because it was never in my life plan to be divorced.

It has got me thinking though, about names. It never bothered me before that I was still using my married name, in a weird kind of way I was still married so it felt right. Now though, my surname is the only thing left behind in an official way that is a reminder that I was married. Of course, I have my 2 girls who I share the name with so I’m not even contemplating changing back to my maiden name. I just don’t think it would feel right to have a different surname to them.

But lets fast forward. Say I meet the perfect man and re marry, because legally I am free to do it now, I would have no hesitation but to take on my new husbands name. I know some women keep their name, or add the husbands surname onto their own, but neither of these options would be anything other than a kick in the teeth to new Mr Me! So, in that instance I would have a different surname to my girls, but, this would be down to me moving forward and changing my name now would be like a step back.

Anyway, it all got me thinking about what a name really means. Many people have differing surnames within one household these days, and others have fallen back to their maiden name whenever a marriage breaks down. Does it really matter these days who is called what? Do you share names with your kids or have new marriages and break downs changed that? Let me know what you think!

Stacking Tree Review

I was recently contacted by the lovely people at www.hellobabydirect.co.uk to review the Stacking Tree, it arrived last week and H hasn’t stopped playing with it since!

The stacking tree is made from rubber wood and consist of a trunk, attached to a sturdy base, with 8 branches of varying shades of green, and 4 different sizes. On first look on the web site it does conjure up the idea this is quite small, but standing 21.5cm tall it’s the perfect size for little hands. It is recommended for age 2 years plus, H is now 23 months and it is perfect for her level of ability. She loves to make different shapes, and also loves tipping it upside down when I have stacked it wrong!! I can also see scope for the play with the item to adjust as she develops, as a great aid to counting and learning about big and small. The wood has a very natural look and feel to it, while still being bright and appealing to young children. In fact at the moment this is most definitely one of H’s 1st choice toys when she goes to the toy chest.

This product is made by Plan Toys and this is what they say about themselves:

‘We create toys that inspire children’s imagination as well as promote their physical and intellectual development. We’re also proving that it is possible to maintain superior quality standards while steadfastly following a path of environmental and social responsibility.’

Retailing at just £11.99 through www.hellobabydirect.co.uk this is most definitely a highly recommended toy from me. It’s simple and straight to the point but keeps little minds and fingers active for hours! Why not go and take a look, they also have a vast range of other toys and all look just as great!

 

The Great Playing Out Debate

As regular readers will know B is 7, and recently has been wanting to play out more. For one reason or another I always put it off with excuses as why she can’t – they are normally valid reasons but I am always glad there is a reason.

 

Now don’t get me wrong I am not against it, in fact B has occassionally played out from the age of 5. But it was always just 5 minutes here and there. She wanted to go out, but then when she did, she wanted to come home to see what I was doing and check I was still at home. Then we moved and our last house wasn’t near enough to her friends in that estate. We have been in this house for a year now and she has been out a handful of times but again was usually back and forth the whole time, never out for more than 10 minutes without popping back for tiny little reasons. All that pointed to me thinking as much as she wanted to, she wasn’t ready to play out yet.

 

So that’s the background, cut to today. We went to do the shopping at Tesco and driving home B saw her friends out on the estate and asked if she could play out. I grasped at the excuse that Daddy would be over in an hour and that they were playing too far away – they are usually just at the top of our cul-de-sac, but today they were round the corner and out of sight. I realised that the reason I was saying no was more my fear than any valid reason. Where they play is by the other kids’ houses and they all have decent enough road sense. So I decided she could go. I made her wear her watch and told her to be home by 12.

 

I’ll be honest, I expected her to be home 10 minutes later saying she didn’t want to play out, or one of the older girls had upset her (which used to happen a lot last year), but after 20 minutes I just got edgey! On the one hand it was great, H was sat having a snack and I got to clean the cooker without B saying she was bored and asking to do things I would say no to. But in the back of my mind the worry monster started. What if she hadn’t found her friends and got knocked over, what if her friends went further off the estate and she followed, what if some stranger started talking to them and she joined in because her friends did…………….

 

Twelve O’Clock came and she walked in bang on time. She had been playing on her friends trampoline in his garden and had really enjoyed herself. She looked full of happiness and energy – I loved the look!!! So that’s it now, no stopping her and here’s hoping my nerves settle!! Oh and also I’ll try and not make excuses any more!

World Cup Fever

Today is the start of the 2010 World Cup. I’ve got my England T-Shirt as has B, who has been frantically saving Match Attax cards for a while now. Tomorrow night is the first England game and it’s the 1st time B has ever said she wants to watch the football. But what is it about the Football World Cup that gets us all full of national pride?

 

The flags are out every where, on cars, on flag poles, on houses, in shops. You must be on the moon if you haven’t noticed it all. Yet I can’t say as I ever notice the same for other sports. Ok sometimes the rugby, but what about the cricket and the olympics? Nothing gets us proud about our nation quite like the football does. I can’t even say it’s because of the sport itself. I don’t follow football normally, I don’t understand anything about the game except the aim is to score more than the opposing team. Yet I too, am looking forward to watching the games and in my heart I want England to do the thing the nation dreams of, bring it home!!!

 

So come on boys, do us and the nation proud!!!!

Long Time no Blog!

It’s been a while since I have done much with my blog so I just wanted to assure you that I am still here! I guess work life coupled with keeping up with housework and of course being a busy Mum has got on top of me and my blog has suffered. So many times I have thought “Wow that would make a fantastic blog post” and then not got round to writing it there and then, but by the time I sit down to write the ideas have left my head! Mainly due to the fact then by the time I sit down and switch on the lap top my brain has switched off.

 

It’s not even as if I have lots to say as to why I haven’t blogged, but I wanted to write a post to highlight the fact that life as a single working Mum is hard. I know a lot of you reading this will be thinking “Well duh, of course it is!”, and that’s another reason why this post is being written. I’m after tips as to how everyone deals with hectic lives, whether you blog or not, what strategies do you have to make sure there is time for everything? Any tips really would be appreciated.

 

So many jobs are shouting at me to be done, and I seem to have no time to do any of them!! But I promise to try and blog more often and I may end up carrying a note book round with me so I can jot down the ideas as I get them……….watch this space!

A Letter To Me

 

Whilst listening to my iPod the other day one of my favourite songs came on. It’s by Brad Paisley and I don’t know if any of you will know it but it’s called Letter to Me. Anyway the song is about him writing a letter to himself when he was 17 and something about it got me thinking about what I would say in such letter. So here it is, my letter to me!

 

Well hello, this is the older you!

I know life is confusing right now, so much going on and things starting to change as you go on to 6th Form and other friends chose a different path. It is hard but it will give you the strength to get through what lies ahead. There will be hard times and there will be fantastic times but I am not writing for you to change anything, because everything you do has made me who I am now.

 

There is big change coming, when you move to Germany don’t worry about the career you are dreaming of now, that will come in time, until then you just need any old job to get you meeting people – do that and you will have a fantastic time.

 

When your Grandparents visit for new year 98-99, enjoy every moment. You will want to be with your friends, but make every moment count, you will remember them all to this day and I send you hugs and strength to get through how that visit ends.

 

You will meet Mr Right, and you will know that he will give you what you want, your real dream of being a Mum. He will also destroy your faith in mankind. But, you know what, I am still here so it’s not that bad! You will have 2 gorgeous kids (ok that’s a big giveaway so no way am I telling you the sex!), you will have some really good times with this man but when it ends, as you will always know in your heart will happen, you will become a stronger person for the experience.

 

You’ve got some fantastic friends waiting to meet you at every stage of your life. Embrace them all, some will be forever, others will dwindle away but remember, friendship, no matter how long it lasts, is important and always brings good.

 

Oh and don’t get cocky about your driving, you’ll go 8 years without hitting another car but it will cost you, more in pride than money, and yes, such a small scratch can cost that much!!!

 

I guess my message to you from the future is, you can get through it all. Go out and have fun, keep to your morals they are high and you are a good person for that. But never be surprised about people’s words and actions. You can only control you, and as long as you remember this, even the bad will make you smile when you know you did it, you got through, and one day you’ll meet me and smile!

 

Until then, you have a lot ahead of you so go Live your life!!!!

xxxxx