Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

What’s in a Name?

Well it’s been official for about a month now, I’m finally divorced. Do I feel any different? Have I changed since I got the piece of paper? Well, in a word, no, I don’t feel any different to be honest. Reading the words on the paper that my marriage is now dissolved actually brought a tear to my eye. Not because I still want to be married, but because it was never in my life plan to be divorced.

It has got me thinking though, about names. It never bothered me before that I was still using my married name, in a weird kind of way I was still married so it felt right. Now though, my surname is the only thing left behind in an official way that is a reminder that I was married. Of course, I have my 2 girls who I share the name with so I’m not even contemplating changing back to my maiden name. I just don’t think it would feel right to have a different surname to them.

But lets fast forward. Say I meet the perfect man and re marry, because legally I am free to do it now, I would have no hesitation but to take on my new husbands name. I know some women keep their name, or add the husbands surname onto their own, but neither of these options would be anything other than a kick in the teeth to new Mr Me! So, in that instance I would have a different surname to my girls, but, this would be down to me moving forward and changing my name now would be like a step back.

Anyway, it all got me thinking about what a name really means. Many people have differing surnames within one household these days, and others have fallen back to their maiden name whenever a marriage breaks down. Does it really matter these days who is called what? Do you share names with your kids or have new marriages and break downs changed that? Let me know what you think!

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June 25, 2010 - Posted by | Me, myself and I | ,

3 Comments »

  1. My Mum was going to go back to her maiden name, but so far she hasn’t. I think that it doesn’t matter about names, it is more about the feelings. Oh and who says that your *new* husband might not want to take your name?

    Comment by PippaD @ A Mothers Ramblings | June 25, 2010 | Reply

    • Lol, not my name tho is it it’s my ex’s, that would be really wierd!!!! If I was a widow would be completely different again!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | June 25, 2010 | Reply

  2. Well Baba and I have different names, he has Mr L’s and as Mr L and I aren’t married I am the only one in my house with my name. I know what you mean though we had big debates about Baba’s last name, should it be Mr L’s or mine, Mr L’s mum’s maiden name, or his stepfathers name. It took a long time to decide, mainly because Mr L hates his biological father with a passion and really didn’t want to continue his biological father (or sperm donor) as he calls him name. But in the end Baba got his name as Mr L wanted a new generation and a better generation of the name. I still don’t know if we ever went on to get married whether I would change my name, as dad never had any boys so I like having my name. I think there is a lot to a name, although I don’t think it matters if you all have different xx

    Comment by andthenallithoughtaboutwasyou | June 25, 2010 | Reply


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