Five Years Time

Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

To answer i look at myself 5 yrs ago. 2005. B was 2. I was working part time in TK Maxx. I was about to move to work with Carphone Warehouse. I was happily married. I had no money. I had hugs. I had love and I had stability.

Now??? I have money, B is 7 and H is almost 2. They are both happy. Me? I live for my kids.I have a handful of friends and half of them are 7oo miles away. Hugs from my girls mean the world. I get no other hugs. I am strong. I have to be. My babies need me to be strong and stable so I am. Nothing in this world stops me being what I need to be for them.

Fast forward. In Five years time, B will be 12, H will be 7 and I will hopefully be happy for me not just for them, because there is a difference. I can provide for them and it means the world. But at the end of the day I forget myself, forget what to do for myself and because everyone sees the happy, everything is great me, they think it’s all ok. I miss hugs, just being close, and falling asleep in someone’s arms.

Next time you speak to single friends who say they are happy – please do read between the lines!!!

April 30, 2010 - Posted by supersinglemum | Me, myself and I

5 Comments »

I struggle sometimes to articulate how i feel about my life as a single mum sometimes. Particularly when there is so much pressure from others and self to “appear” happy and like I have it all together. Your post rang true for me. I remember when I separated from my partner I was pregnant with severe morning sickness looking after an 18mth old and all i wanted was for someone to give me a foot and back rub. no such luck. lets hope in 5yrs you have not only what you hope for but positive things that you haven’t even thought of yet.

Comment by Beth | May 1, 2010 | Reply
- I know I am not alone in feeling this way, and 90% of the time I can deal with it and life goes on with me genuinly happy, but sometimes I get fed – and your right – it’s hard to find the words to say it correctly. I don’t want to rewind 5 yrs, I am a happier and better person now – but sometimes I do miss what came with a relationship! I to seperated when pregnant with H and B was 5, so know exactly what you mean about the foot rub thing – and going to appointments was awful, seeing all the other loved up couples and feeling even more alone!!! Do you think we harden too much as single mum’s and that makes it more difficult to engage with people, so harder to make new relationships, either as friends or more?
  
  Comment by supersinglemum | May 1, 2010 | Reply
Very honest and open of you.

Sending you lots of hugs!

Comment by Susie | May 1, 2010 | Reply
- Thanks, was just wanting to get it off my chest – and in doing so it helped a little!!!
  
  Comment by supersinglemum | May 1, 2010 | Reply
  - Writing is the same for me-great free therapy.
    
    Comment by Susie | May 1, 2010 | Reply

All about me!

For those of you who didn’t read my old blog, or just want to remind yourself of my background, here goes…….

I’m a 33 year old single mum. I have two daughters, B is 8 and H is 3. I have been single since I was 5 months pregnant with H, and yes they both have the same dad. They see him alternate weekends and holidays unless he is away with work.

When my marriage broke down I moved the length of the country to be back at home near family and unfortunately lost my job due to the credit crunch too. I returned to work in March 2010, as a Family Support Worker. It’s such a rewarding job but hard work too. I’m now in a new relationship with Mr D and have the added dynamics of his children and how they fit into both my life and my girls lives! Being a parent brings some challenges but I wouldn’t change it!

As a single mum it’s a great way to view my opinions and get other points of view. Don’t get me wrong I have some fantastic friends and family on my doorstep and I talk things through with them. Sometimes the view of a perfect stranger is a breeze of fresh air though.

So be warned, I really am getting into this now and I am likely to post some utter drivel as well as some (hopefully) interesting stuff. All I ask is that you comment honestly, I don’t expect my opinions to be agreeable to everyone and at times I will be looking for some opinions that contradict my own.

Picture Credit: Kristian D. Flickr.com