Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Best Friend Ban

I can’t actually believe what I have heard today, schools in London are taking on a policy of banning their pupils having best friends. What utter rubbish. This has really annoyed me because who has the right to stop anyone forming friendships whether a best friend or acquaintance?

The theory goes like this, if children are not able to make close friendships then they don’t get hurt when those friendships break down.

Right, I have to say this:

I moved around a lot as a child, wherever I lived I always had a best friend. I also had fall outs with those friends and some of these fall outs were patched up, others were not. I loved my friends and I confided in them about everything. We got each other through puberty, fancying boys, horrible teachers, periods, boobs, sex, parent gripes. Without my friends, and although this is plural, I mean the ones who were my best friends, without all of them school life would have been hell. If I hadn’t been ”allowed” best friends by the school this wouldn’t have stopped me, most of my friendship moments happened outside of school. Admittedly it was school that meant I met these people, but school had no say on whether this was sustained. I can understand how schools would like all children to play together, no one be left out and ultimately wipe out bullying because all the kids get on, but in reality that just doesn’t work. As adults we gel with some and not others, as children it is the same. I have to say I don’t think I ever became good friends with the person I was buddied up with in each new school!!

As an adult, I have been through friendships and my marriage fell apart, none of those relationships would I have come through so well if I hadn’t experienced what I did as a child. Children don’t just need academic teaching, they need to learn about social lives and friendship and what better way to do that than to be able to make and lose friends when younger, so that as adults we know how to make friends and keep them, or move on! Even now, and I am sure for the rest of my life, I will make friends, I will lose friends and I will laugh cry and beat myself up over things that go on with my friends but I wouldn’t change any of the friends I have had. They say everyone comes into our lives for a reason and whether that is for a short time or a long time, no one has the right to tell anyone, child or adult, who they should and shouldn’t be close too!!

So here’s my best friends, from about the age of 7 to the present day, if your reading this let me know, especially the ones I’ve lost contact with coz that would be a real surprise!!!

Alison Lake, Emma Entwistle, Vicky Miles, Kelly Anderson, Jennie Sanders, Jayne Williams, Tanya McLean, Jo Inch, Jo Harvey

You’re all listed with the names I knew you by and I know some of you have married. I love all of you for being in my life, I wouldn’t change the friends I have had, you have all taught me something very important. Now lets make sure that schools see how silly this idea of banning best friends is!!

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March 19, 2012 - Posted by | Friendship | ,

2 Comments »

  1. Banning best friends is one of the most ridiculous ideas I’ve ever heard! J doesn’t have friends, just best friends so where would that leave him?
    Oh and love you lots too, thanks for being one of my best friends xxxxxxxx

    Comment by mumtoj | March 19, 2012 | Reply

    • The more I think about this I honestly don’t see how they can police it… i completely agree that schools need to encourage children to include everyone, but you can’t tell people how much they can like another person, next step is banning boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in senior school, which only makes it easier for the teachers as they don’t have to deal with the fall outs, and to be honest thats what this boils down to and not protecting children’s feelings at all!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 21, 2012 | Reply


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