Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Best Friend Ban

I can’t actually believe what I have heard today, schools in London are taking on a policy of banning their pupils having best friends. What utter rubbish. This has really annoyed me because who has the right to stop anyone forming friendships whether a best friend or acquaintance?

The theory goes like this, if children are not able to make close friendships then they don’t get hurt when those friendships break down.

Right, I have to say this:

I moved around a lot as a child, wherever I lived I always had a best friend. I also had fall outs with those friends and some of these fall outs were patched up, others were not. I loved my friends and I confided in them about everything. We got each other through puberty, fancying boys, horrible teachers, periods, boobs, sex, parent gripes. Without my friends, and although this is plural, I mean the ones who were my best friends, without all of them school life would have been hell. If I hadn’t been ”allowed” best friends by the school this wouldn’t have stopped me, most of my friendship moments happened outside of school. Admittedly it was school that meant I met these people, but school had no say on whether this was sustained. I can understand how schools would like all children to play together, no one be left out and ultimately wipe out bullying because all the kids get on, but in reality that just doesn’t work. As adults we gel with some and not others, as children it is the same. I have to say I don’t think I ever became good friends with the person I was buddied up with in each new school!!

As an adult, I have been through friendships and my marriage fell apart, none of those relationships would I have come through so well if I hadn’t experienced what I did as a child. Children don’t just need academic teaching, they need to learn about social lives and friendship and what better way to do that than to be able to make and lose friends when younger, so that as adults we know how to make friends and keep them, or move on! Even now, and I am sure for the rest of my life, I will make friends, I will lose friends and I will laugh cry and beat myself up over things that go on with my friends but I wouldn’t change any of the friends I have had. They say everyone comes into our lives for a reason and whether that is for a short time or a long time, no one has the right to tell anyone, child or adult, who they should and shouldn’t be close too!!

So here’s my best friends, from about the age of 7 to the present day, if your reading this let me know, especially the ones I’ve lost contact with coz that would be a real surprise!!!

Alison Lake, Emma Entwistle, Vicky Miles, Kelly Anderson, Jennie Sanders, Jayne Williams, Tanya McLean, Jo Inch, Jo Harvey

You’re all listed with the names I knew you by and I know some of you have married. I love all of you for being in my life, I wouldn’t change the friends I have had, you have all taught me something very important. Now lets make sure that schools see how silly this idea of banning best friends is!!

March 19, 2012 Posted by | Friendship | , | 2 Comments

Lets make a House a Home

I’ve been separated from my ex husband for 4 years now, and have lived where I do now for the last 3, thing is I have never really felt at home here. Last summer I decorated the kids rooms and they loved it! To me though I still didn’t feel fully at home. I guess a part of me never really believed I would stay, I had come home after the break up and needed time with my family but for a long time I felt lost, not sure if I would stay or move somewhere else. I didn’t know it at the time but I see it now, maybe the depression I had before Christmas was part of the whole healing and moving on process to enable me to put down roots. So what made me realise?

Back in January I decided it was time for change, the only thing I had left from my married days was the sofa and so I decided it was time for a new one, not just because it was from when I was married, but it is looking old and tired (I will NEVER buy a beige sofa again!). So I went sofa shopping and was very surprised to find one I fell in love with and was comfy to sit on. Sofa ordered and home I came, to a lounge in a mishmash colour scheme. I had never really noticed before but the green and beige walls and brown floor, the brown rug and black and brown furniture along with the yellow curtains almost made me cry. My newly ordered sofa was black and grey with a hint of purple….I loved the sofa but really, it wasn’t going to look at home here!

Feb2012 005

I took the “before” picture as I was packing up to decorate, so ignore the mess, but you get the picture!!

After a number of trips to Homebase, who I really can’t thank enough for their helpfullness, and too much money spent in Dunelm Mill, well, take a look at what I did…….

Feb2012 008  Feb2012 010 

Feb2012 012  Feb2012 023 

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I’m pretty proud of myself I have to say. And this is the moment I felt at home, the moment I realised I’d been living on pause for a while, the moment life really does carry on! Oh, and that’s not the new sofa, but that will be arriving in just over a week and then my house really will be my home!

March 19, 2012 Posted by | Home | , , | 2 Comments