Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Sleep Nightmare Continues

Some of you may remember I recently wrote a post about the Sleep Nightmare with trying to wean H off her dummy so I thought I would update you all and also see if there are any other opinions on what I am doing.

In a nut shell, the attempt has been made for H to no longer have a dummy at all. Since then she has done really well in that during the day she doesn’t ask for it at all, it means the tantrums have hightened but even for her day time nap she no longer has dummy. Admittedly her daytime nap is now rarely in her bed, simply because we have been out and about during the holidays and she has napped in the car or pushchair.

Night time is a different story though. Since my last post she hasn’t improved and I have resigned to letting her have dummy at bedtime because I couldn’t deal with the tantrums in the day coupled with the crying to sleep at night and the waking 3 to 4 times a night. We stayed with family over the weekend, and the strange environment added to the whole issue. One night in particular she took 3 hours to settle even with her dummy. We got home on Tuesday and for 2 nights now she has slept with dummy, without waking and I have caught up on my sleep.

So now we are in the situation where the dummy is back and H is apprehensive every night as to whether she will have dummy or not and that’s putting us all on edge at bedtime. Part of me wants to forget the whole thing and leave it to settle down again for a while. She isn’t the sort of child who will have her dummy till she is 5 or 6 and I’m really not worried about her teeth, because once asleep she spits it out and she now only has it for bed. Thing is though she is back to her dad’s next week and I know he really wants her to be without her dummy. Plus he did put in alot of effort the 1st week to get her off it and a part of me thinks he will really hold all this against me. I just know he won’t see my point of view and that bugs me.

So am I doing the right thing in sticking with dummy so as to relieve us all of the bedtime anxiety and then give it another go in a few weeks? I know some of you will say I’ve done the wrong thing but I can’t help think now is just the wrong time, what with her being off nursery and visiting her dad’s and other family more often. I’m just hoping I’m not putting off the inevitable by waiting until she is back to the normal routine!!!

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August 19, 2010 - Posted by | Parenting | , ,

8 Comments »

  1. I have been told three times in the last month by midwives and the nursery nurse that they wouldn’t put too much emphasis on bottles and dummies until LB is three. Don’t be pressured by Daddy you are her main carer and you have to deal with the tantrums on a daily basis not him x x

    Comment by Mummymatters | August 19, 2010 | Reply

    • When the nursery nurse did her review she said to just not give in……… sometimes I wonder if they won’t back me up if he is there because he has that “I’m right” persona about him when really I could have done with that info coming from her!!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 21, 2010 | Reply

  2. I second what MM says. You’re her main carer and her Mum so you know her best. It isn’t going to do any of you any good to be trying to ditch the dummy and cope with tantrums on a daily basis whilst you’re both so tired, it’ll just make them seem worse. Like you say she spits it out once she’s asleep anyway, it’s not like it’s glued to her mouth! You know best and whatever you decide, as the main carer he, (dad), should try to show you some support. ((hugs)) xxxxx

    Comment by mumtoj | August 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Lmao, support!!!!!!! But I just told him straight today that the dummy issue is no longer an issue in this house and that weaning her off is on hold until she is back into her “normal” routine. He was a bit flumaxed and to be honest don’t think it’s what he expected but tough!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 21, 2010 | Reply

  3. I agree I have also been told not to bother too much about the dummy till Baba is three, I would like him off it and he only has it for sleep times. I also agree that you are the main carer and if you are both tired everything is much worse than if you are feeling awake and normal. xx

    Comment by andthenallithoughtaboutwasyou | August 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Cheers, yeah I agree! She doesn’t have it for nap times now because I can deal with that as I am awake, but when it’s 3am and I’ve still not had any sleep it’s different!!! I know I will have to go through all this at some point but the hope is that it will be easier to reason with her when she’s a bit older!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 21, 2010 | Reply

  4. If your the one that is her main carer and the one that has to deal with the tantrums then you need to do what feels right to you. Sometimes, ok most of the time as a parent things do not go as planned and we have to comprimise. You will not be able to have the patients to deal with the tantrums if your sleep deprived. You’ve done a great job if she’s not having it with her naps. Have you tried giving it her at when she first goes to bed and since she sits it out anyway maybe sneaking in and taking it away? Perhaps this could help as a weaning process.

    Comment by Kate | August 25, 2010 | Reply

    • Cheers for the comment Kate.Yeah have tried taking it away in the night, she generally then wakes in the night, if she is disturbed and cannot find it!! However, this week she has been with her dad and he tells me she hasnt had it at all, so maybe this time she will come back and not have it? I’ve told him it’s not an issue any more in our house and if she wants it for bed she can have it but she knows thats the only time she gets it. I think it’s a case of play it by ear to be honest, but I will of course keep everyone updated on here!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 26, 2010 | Reply


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