Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

I Wanna Know What Love Is

Yes yet again I have taken inspiration from a song for my latest post!

Thing is, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about love, friendship and feelings. Most of you know my background as to how I became a single mum, and due to that it has taken me a while to get back to a position where I can trust enough to make new friends. I am there now though, I have made a new life for myself in a new area and I love my life. Thing is though, I think I have forgotten what “Love” is, in the sense of a relationship. I mean, I know what the love for my kids feels like, and the love for my family and my friends.

I think part of me doesn’t want to remember the feeling, until it happens. Although when will that be!!! I’ve given internet dating a go, which isn’t for me but that’s another story. Other than that I find it very difficult to meet blokes, my work is very female orientated and I’m really not enthused by the idea of going to a bar on the pull. So I’ve resigned myself to it not happening, but what if that means I miss what is right in front of my eyes?

In my perfect world, love is wanting to be with someone 24/7, always having a smile on my face, always agreeing with the other person on everything, not having to worry about the little things, going away for weekends at the drop of a hat. But at the same time love isn’t necessarily all these things so am I looking too hard for perfection that is meerly just a dream.

For those Twilight fans out there, I feel like Bella, except its all hypothetical! Do I search for my Edward and settle for nothing less, or do I accept Jacob because really that’s life! Is finding someone that makes you smile and laugh, but also winds you up some times; someone who makes a difference in the small ways, but doesn’t make the earth move; is that the person I should be looking for??? Love takes many forms and having had the heart skips a beat, intense and overpowering love before – that didn’t work out – am I setting my sights too high that 12 years on from then I’m not going to find that now!

Just a little insight into the random mind of me!!!! But I’d love to hear you’re views!

August 13, 2010 - Posted by | Me, myself and I | , ,


  1. Ohhh my Supersinglemum…this is such “the question” that is chronically running through my mind as I attempt to get back into the dating “thing” after having been, (for the first time EVER in my life) madly completely, totally crazy-in love…one that was even drenched with a fairy-tale-like happiness…the kind I actually never imagined could happen in real life, much less to ME!??!.
    And then it’s like a curse of sorts…after that, anything else seems so “less than”…but is it unreasonable to think that’s what we *should* have? ….*should* wait for? Look for? Dare to hope for? Does lightening strike twice?

    Really wish I had the answer instead of just understanding of the question you pose… I, for one beg to differ with the phrase, “It’s better to have loved and lost…” I was far better off before I experienced such love…but everything for a reason and I must believe that something wasn’t as right as it should have been or it wouldn’t have ended… Now, just to forget that feeling….and stop wishing to feel it again….
    best of luck to you!

    Comment by KaPau! | August 13, 2010 | Reply

    • Glad I’m not the only one out there. I guess a part of me wonders if the love I lost was that intense because it was one sided and thats what I saw, or was he lying when it ended and he said it wasn’t the same feeling for him??? As for the loved and lost thing, well I wouldn’t change it as I have my kids, but had I not had them then yeah I would agree with you lol!!! Thanks for your comment!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 13, 2010 | Reply

  2. I think “love” is when you can just be yourself, warts and all and that person accepts you for that. I don’t agree that you should agree on everything, as they say “opposites attract”. It would be boring if you both had all the same ideas and opinions, its good to differ at times – it helps to keep the spark going.

    As for actually finding that special someone, I think you need to keep your options open and don’t dismiss too easily. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I had my guy for 7 years believing he was the one but he was nothing compared to my best friend, my husband.

    I hope that you find your special someone because you are a great person with a lot to offer, the ex is the one who missed out, not you xx

    Comment by MummyMatters | August 13, 2010 | Reply

    • The ex doesnt come into it any more lol!!! But I still remember that feeling when I met him – but then he was my 1st love and I was young so maybe knowing much more about reality means that feeling won’t return. Just sometimes think I am expected more than is ever going to happen lol!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  3. I think love is when you’re just completely satisfied and comfortable with someone–it doesn’t have to fancy, it shouldn’t be a constant roller-coaster. It just is.

    Comment by signorinabea | August 14, 2010 | Reply

    • “It just is”……. thats exactly it!!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  4. My relationship with my boyfriend is by no means perfect…. not at all. And over the last year we’ve been off/on/off/on, though D knows none of it as he goes to his Dad’s 3x a week so can be often he doesn’t see my boyf for a week or two anyway, coz of our shifts at work and him bein at his dads etc.

    I’d say I was settling… we started off “mates” me and the boyf, and we’re much like that now – with the benefits I guess!!! 3 and half years later still together. We’re not as bonded as I’d like, and he has a big problem with communication and talking and I’d like that too… but I’m settling that he can’t do that, and I’m not gettin any younger ya know? So yeah, I love him I do, but I’d love MORE… and just keep living in hope that he’ll learn to actually communicate properly EVENTUALLY… and that will lead to us being better emotionally bonded. I’m sure that’ll come over more years?? Hopefully anyway…

    Good luck in your search hun 🙂

    Comment by Louise @ WeeWifie's World | August 14, 2010 | Reply

    • Cheers, its really interesting to hear the opinions on this and its making me realise that theres no right or wrong, its just that feeling eh!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  5. Now when I was younger I thought I was withe the one. I fought and fought in that relationship to only realise that no it really wasn’t the one. When we finished I never thought I would find it again and happened to come across Mr L but at the time I really thought it would be nothing. He was younger and was a bit of a so and so but I was wrong eight months later we had our own place the rest is as they say history.

    But you know he’s not perfect he annoys the hell out of me and we do argue a lot. He can be the laziest most opinionated git in the world some times and drives me to distration. But then he can be so loving and he really makes me laugh. But it means our relationship isn’t boring and he loves me as much as I love him. I hope that you find someone.

    Have you tried speed dating know quite a few that have had success with that?

    Comment by Kerry | August 15, 2010 | Reply

    • No not tried speed dating, as far as i know there is nothing like that local. But like I said, I’m not saying all this coz I am desperately looking (not saying speed dating = desperation lol), I just wanted to throw it out there, like I say I dont want to throw a good thing away looking for something I may never find – if that makes sense?!?!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  6. love is something that happens into our lives during the most unexpected time….. you do not have to look for it…. it will simply come…. i ve been to such situation where my husband left me and my son for someone…. he left me when i just had my stroke….. things around seemed falling… and it all falling in my direction…. i tried to face the challenge of life… for me… no one could ever bring me down…. not even love…… i also tried internet dating and everything. i was posting in different chatrooms.. believing that there could be someone to pick me up and start from there just like the lucky others…. i even searched my ex’s on facebook hoping that there was someone still unattached but again luck doesnt favor me then……. the only reason is to get even….. with my husband.
    i was so busy with that thing and i simply realized that i was neglecting my son….. so ive made my son my turning point… i said i love my son… but inside me i was longing for different love….. and it wasnt the love my son can offer… …. i was so lost then……

    Comment by maribel | August 17, 2010 | Reply

    • Yes Maribel, our kids have to come first and ultimately any single person needs to be ok with themselves or they just wont be attractive to the opposite sex. Two and a half years on my kids are less depepndent on me, I am happy with me in every way and life couldn’t be better – just be nice to share it with that special someone. Hope you find happiness and welcome to my blog!

      Comment by supersinglemum | August 17, 2010 | Reply

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