Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Just A Hard Woman Without a Heart

As per my previous few posts, life is great at the minute and I’m not going to pretend it’s not but I have to admit that I still sometimes wish I had someone to share it with. My family are fantastic and I love them to pieces for all the help and love and support they give me and my girls. I’ve also got some fantastic friends, but as is the case in life, friendships change and I have recently gone through some big changes in that a close friend has emigrated and another friendship has drifted apart. Other friends I don’t see now I am back to work, but at the same time new doors have opened in that I am making new friends both at and through my work.

It’s a hard one, on the one hand I love being a single mum, I am more at ease with life being on my own and my girls are happy. At the same time though, I have been single for 2 years and moved away from some dear friends when it happened. I still have my lonely moments. I hate the fact I have no one who I could call up and invite over for a glass of wine – because those friends I do have, have their own families who come 1st. I am a tough cookie to crack. I am completely honest in that after all I have gone through I don’t just let anyone into my heart any more, it takes me time and that’s no bad thing but does that make me come across as the tough cookie who needs no one else? If so I would like to shout out to everyone and say I do have a heart, I do feel lonely when the kids are in bed and I can’t go out and no one comes round.

Next weekend will be my 1st child free weekend for 3 months and I have NOTHING and NOONE to spend time with. My family are all meeting up and I am in two minds to go with them, or stay home and catch up on sleep and jobs – although to be honest I don’t think I could do 48 hours of my own company!  Where do people go to meet others these days? What do 30 something single women do when their married friends are all busy? I’m surely not the only single mum out there who feels like this at times?

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April 11, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

12 Comments »

  1. I know exactly how you feel! I was single for 5 years after my daughter was born and it does get lonely and not being able to share things with someone other than your mum or sister etc gets to you in the end.

    I now have a partner again, we’ve been together over a year now, but he had to move to Spain in January when he got offered a job in Gibraltar (after being out of work since the recession hit) and even though we’re together we’re not together which is really hard. My daughter has just gone to my mums holiday flat today and she’s staying all week as I’m working and of course that leaves me on my own with nothing to do and no one to go out with. I guess I’ll be writing about 10 blog posts a night or spring cleaning or something instead!

    Comment by notsosinglemum | April 11, 2010 | Reply

    • It is hard and I think you only really understand if you have been there because I certainly didn’t understand when I was married. I think I just get down about it becasue I never seem to be in a situation to meet new people, and don’t have the guts to approach people! I was told to try and meet men in the supermarket by a few people who have actually met blokes that way, but I wouldnt have the guts at all!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 11, 2010 | Reply

      • I’m with you there, I certainly wouldn’t have the guts to chat someone up in a supermarket!

        I was lucky really, my man found me on facebook! Not some weird internet stalker, but he was “the one who got away” 10 years ago and he just emailed me on there and over a year later here I am. I wouldn’t have had the guts to email him, so thank god he did!

        Comment by notsosinglemum | April 12, 2010 | Reply

        • I actually don’t mind chatting to guys on the net – but I do find it hard when they could be so strange! I speak to “real” friends online, but internet dating is just too full of strange people for me lol!!!

          Comment by supersinglemum | April 12, 2010 | Reply

  2. I don’t have much toa dd as I don’t really know where you are coming from. I do believe that if you imagine in your head what you want your life to look like from a positive (as in I see myself enjoying a new partnership full of love and trust, I see myself being joyful with someone new) instead of from a negative (I am lonely I want somone to share my life with..) then I think you will attract to you the second chapter of your life that you truly want. Just believe. 🙂

    Comment by Susie | April 11, 2010 | Reply

    • Believe me I do believe that, I honestly do have a vision in my head of being with someone new in a few years time when the girls are both at school etc, and so far my new single life has panned out how I have visualized it. I don’t mean to come across as all “woe is me” at all here, my point is more than I am not 100% ok on my own no matter what people percieve of me – yes I am happy but that doesn’t mean I don’t want people in my life! Like I said life has changed for me quite dramatically int he last month so I think it’s more that I still have alot to learn about this new direction and it’s made me question things about myself again – in a good way! Does that make sense?

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 11, 2010 | Reply

      • I hope you didn’t think I was being patronising. I was just trying to give you positive thoughts. 🙂

        Comment by Susie | April 11, 2010 | Reply

        • Not at all I didnt take it as patronising dont worry!

          Comment by supersinglemum | April 11, 2010 | Reply

  3. I can’t help with meeting people but I’ll be happy to have a glass of wine or two and a Twitter chat anytime 😉

    Comment by Magic Mummy | April 11, 2010 | Reply

    • Ah cheers, may just take you up on that! Have to admit have met some great friends through my blog and twitter, sometimes wish we could all meet up in person for a drink once in a while!

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 11, 2010 | Reply

  4. I empathise. I think I can understand the dilemma. I am fifty and also love being a single mum but sometimes the effort to socialise with others all in families is exhausting. Luckily at fifty I am too old to want a more personal relationship and too hard hearted. But that’s not really true for even me so it it can;t be true for you.

    Do not do chores. Wake up in the morning and do something new that appeals to you. sniff the air and scent out some place that feels fresh and new and has the possibility of you finding a new you.

    And have a bit of sleep too. Give yourself a little treat. A massage is expensive but makes you feels a physical being when hugs only come from little people.

    That’s my advice- and now i have just realised that the post probably referredt othe weekend that has just gone- I hope you did something refreshing.

    Comment by methusulamum | April 12, 2010 | Reply

    • No no the post refers to this weekend coming!
      Hadn’t thought of the massage thing and yet that’s one thing I have promised myself – to treat me more often!

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 12, 2010 | Reply


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