Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Never As Bad As It Seems

Life at the moment is great in many ways and I can’t complain about any of it but just lately I seem to have been faced with lots of different scenarios that have made me anxious before hand and prepared for the worst. I don’t really remember feeling like this before, worried that if 1 little thing goes wrong then that will cause major issues for me and my family.

Regular readers will recall a few weeks back I made the decision to go to my ex Mother in Law’s for an Easter Egg hunt with her family. Ok, not so difficult, but also present would be my ex best friend, who is the person my ex husband left me for and also now has an 8 month old daughter with him. The ex is working away, hence why the girls couldn’t just go with him. I decided to bite the bullet and go, hold my head up high and show that I am not ashamed of anything I have done, and that I can hold my head up high and be the adult.By xrrr @ Flickr.com

Well, I have to say my nerves before hand, my worry about feeling an outsider and my apprehensiveness about the whole event disappeared within minutes of arriving. When I got there, there was MIL and NW (new woman) and HS (Half sister). I said “hi” as did she, and I could tell she had the air of “I am welcomed here more than you” about her. Maybe not how it was intended, but I thought I was in for worse than I had imagined. Then the family began to arrive. Cousin V gave me a hug when she walked in with her hubby and son, and soon after, everyone else arrived. I refused to sit back and blend into the wall paper. I was me. The me I am now. I laughed a lot! I drew a pig and then was told what it said about my personality. (We all did it, but I could have decided not to join in – the old me wouldn’t have done it). I had a really good afternoon, and I did it because I realised that no one there was judging anyone on what has happened in the past. As for NW, well I stayed out of her way and she out of mine, we were civil when we needed to be and that’s that but I wasn’t going to try and start a conversation with her, no matter how much she still looked like my best friend. I could make judgement on how I perceived her to act, but that’s not for this blog because regardless of what I think, I am not going to “slag her off”, or say anything to offend, because you know what,

I’M OVER IT!!!!!!!!!

Yep that’s right, forgive and forget. I have proved I am over it because not once did I wish I still had my links with that family other than for the girls. Not once did I wish my ex was still with me. Not once did I even wish I had my best friend back. In fact from this moment on she is no longer even the ex best friend, she is J, my ex’s partner. The past is the past and I no longer need to explain it.

There was only one negative about the day, I had no one to come home to, to share my experience with, to be able to say “I did it” to as I walked in the door. But you know what, I know that when I do find that someone to share my life with, now I can do it having let go of a hell of a lot of emotional baggage, and actually I have my MIL to thank for that, so if you happen to be reading, thank you!

Here’s to the rest of my life, may it be as happy as it is now!

 

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April 7, 2010 - Posted by | Parenting | , ,

7 Comments »

  1. Good for you hun!

    Comment by newdaynewlesson | April 7, 2010 | Reply

  2. You should be very proud of yourself and hopefully good things will continue to happen and you will meet a good man who will love you and the girls and give you the life you deserve and you will be happier than you ever have been, it is waiting round the corner. You have a lot of new fab friends and it is a pleasure to be able to call myself one of them and not one of them would do what NW did to you cos they all respect and care about you too much. Welcome to your new life and your life will be richer than it was with your ex. love ya xxx

    Comment by kim | April 7, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks Kim, everything you say is right, and I am in the right frame of mind to see the bigger picture now. Onwards and upwards to the best years of my life! It’s also a pleasure to have you as a friend, I owe a lot of my happiness to what you have done for me, even if it is just listen! xxx

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 7, 2010 | Reply

  3. That’s fantastic!! I’m glad you went and that you joined in, and were the bigger and better person… and that you’re over it all and have moved on. That must have been just awful what happened with your ex, and I’m pleased for you that you’ve moved on and seem really happy!

    Well done you!

    Onwards and upwards =)

    Comment by Louise @ WeeWifie's World | April 7, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, it was a big step, close friends know how much I wasn’t looking forward to it but am so pleased I did it!

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 8, 2010 | Reply

  4. Well done – I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to do that. You did so well 😉

    Comment by Magic Mummy | April 8, 2010 | Reply

    • We do lots of things we don’t think we have the strength to face when it is to do with our kids, if B hadn’t wanted me to be there so much I’m not sure I would have done it!

      Comment by supersinglemum | April 8, 2010 | Reply


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