Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Why oh why – Rant ahead!!!

I hate school playgrounds. I hated them when I was in school and I hate them now. B is in Yr 2, but she started just before Easter of her Foundation year due to us moving area. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and only 1 mum bothered to talk to me and that was after 2 months! I wasn’t emotionally in a great place at the time and couldn’t face approaching others, I couldn’t face the possible rejection.

Things have changed, there are now a handful of mum’s who always talk if I see them and I’m happy with that. H helps with her big breezy smile and on occasion other mum’s talk but it’s only in passing. I still hate the playground but it’s more bearable now, and as I only drop B at the gate in a morning it’s only once a day I have to endure it! Ok I am making it out to be much worse than it is!

This morning I did actually stay at school because B was playing recorder in assembly and the parents were invited to stay if they could. While waiting to enter the school hall I was stood next to 2 mum’s from B’s class, one of which is heavily pregnant and they were discussing the fact she wants a home birth. She said her midwife was trying to scare her out of it due to her being a VBAC mum and said she didn’t know the statistics and her midwife didn’t tell her. Having been a VBAC mum myself,redjar @ Flickr.com and being close enough that I could obviously hear the conversation, I just said “It’s 1 in a thousand and I was that 1!” Now with most parents if you say something in that sort of conversation you at least get acknowledged. Nope, they both just paused, looked at me, and then looked away and carried on. I felt like saying “How rude!” very loudly but I just brushed it off and let them get on with it. “There’s a 0.1 chance of tearing” said the none pregnant mum, well wouldn’t you know it, that’s what I just said!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to scare her, on the contrary, I just wanted to point out it does happen but was going on to say that I had since spoken to midwives who had never seen it in their careers. The odds are stacked in her favour, but that 0.1 chance is a very real one. I know if it was me I would have wanted to hear it had actually happened to someone, and although that wouldn’t have changed my decision, it added to my knowledge. I actually was under the impression home births are not available on the NHS for VBAC mum’s. I know it’s a slight chance but any chance and I would want the doctors close by.

Anyway, my rant isn’t about birthing options, each mum has the right to make their own decision and I was in no way being judgemental, it’s the fact that I was trying to offer an opinion and was cut off mid sentence and looked at like dirt – just because I am not in their “click”. Why are mum’s like this some of the time? We are all mum’s, our kids are in the same class, we’ve all had experiences and we all are as equally valuable to the bigger picture of life. What gives anyone the right to give someone that sort of look and be so rude!

Argh, rant over! I’d love to know if I’m alone in my playground fear!

Advertisements

March 18, 2010 - Posted by | School and Childcare

14 Comments »

  1. I don’t really get mithered by other people, if they want to talk to me great, if not then it’s their loss. However, they do seem exceptionally rude. Bet you’ll have a small giggle to yourself if she does tear though….

    Comment by Very Bored in Catalunya | March 18, 2010 | Reply

    • Lol, wouldn’t wish it on anyone though, if I hadn’t had a team stood by H would have drowned in my blood and I would have probably been hedging that way through blood loss – hence why I am surprised in her considering it lol!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 18, 2010 | Reply

  2. J isnt at school yet but a couple of years ago for a few months I did the school run for my neighbours two, the playground politics bugged me greatly why cant we all just get along and be friendly! We all have one thing in common … kids?!

    Comment by Hayley | March 18, 2010 | Reply

    • Exactly, ah well, I start work next week so at least 2 days a week I don’t have to do the playground thing!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 18, 2010 | Reply

  3. We all find our own groups in life a bit. You are obviously a bit extraverted, perhaps the other Mom’s aren’t. I can chat to just about anyone on any subject so come play in my park. Perhaps those other Moms weren’t as open to talking with a new person about a personal problem. I tore a bit but didn’t need stitches. Keep putting yourself out there. Excelent rant!
    Read my blog where I gush with joy at finding a new park mom friend. http://www.victoriastewart.ca/2009/08/my-new-park-mom-friend/

    Comment by Victoria Stewart | March 18, 2010 | Reply

    • Can I 1st point out I am refering to uterus tearing where the scar from a previous section tears inside, not a vaginal tear. And they weren’t talking quietly, both are quite extrovert mums themselves so i was taken aback by their reaction, 1 of them has actually talked to me in the past too!! Where’s your park I’m on my way!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 18, 2010 | Reply

  4. I can see it both ways depending on where I was in my life.

    I am the kind of person who often, to the chagrin of my family, butts in to conversations. I also used to be a lot more averse to hearing other people’s advice.

    Sooo while on the one hand I do offer my opinion unsolicited, I also do get my back against the wall when people butt into my conversations. I might at one point or another been snooty to someone else. Hope not though.

    Comment by newdaynewlesson | March 18, 2010 | Reply

    • I wouldn’t have an issue if i had butt in but they were stood facing me, one had said hello before hand, I didn’t see it as butting in but did think that their attitude was reflective of school playgrounds these days. I personally dont like people butting in either, but if they did i would at least acknowledge they had opened their mouth, unless it was happening all the time then i might tell them to shut up and go away lol!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 18, 2010 | Reply

  5. I am a working mum now but when I used to take my little boy to the school nursery I experienced the same thing. Nobody would talk to me, so I used to try butting in (for want of a better phrase) on their conversations, in the hope they would engage me in their discussion. Never happened and the only one I’ve kept in touch with since going back to work full time is my son’s childminder!

    Comment by Suburban Mum | March 18, 2010 | Reply

    • I hate the politics of it, someone said to me that the school playground is a great place for making other mum friends – well I would class 2 mum’s as friends but out of 60 kids in my daughters year, not so much wanting friends, just polite recognition would be nice!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 18, 2010 | Reply

  6. Aahhh, the experience I have daily at Little Man’s school.
    I will write my own post on this one day..

    Little Man goes to a Welsh Medium school, and the majority of families with children there are quite ‘well to do’ and because we, as a family, don’t fit in, we get excluded from a lot of parties etc.

    Beth

    Comment by itsmygoodlife | March 18, 2010 | Reply

    • It’s shocking really, regardless of money and stature – it’s all gobledegook to kids so it’s him that looses out with the parties etc.

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 19, 2010 | Reply

  7. I never get spoken to in the school playground either!!

    Not even by D’s little friends Mum. They were at nursery together for a few years. She always spoke then! We’d walk along the road together chatting then go our seperate ways when we had to change direction. Now she doesn’t speak. She’s in a clique now.

    I’m a working mum so very rarely get to take my son to school in the morning. Though I will say “hi” and “hello” and “gosh It’s freezing today isn’t it?!” to people, I’m always ignored.

    It’s colder than the north pole in that playground!! Talk about freezing people out!

    I think I share your playground hatred. It’s kinda like being there again – the cool kids in their wee groups, shunning the “outsiders”.

    Comment by Louise @ WeeWifie's World | March 22, 2010 | Reply

    • I used to live up in Scotland till 2 years ago – and I found it worse there even though in general people are more chatty up there – thats not the case in the playground!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 22, 2010 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: