Super Single Mum's Blog

Life and all the shananigins!

Seven Year Old Attitude

I am having major issues at the moment with B. She turned 7 in January and for the last month or so she has had the attitude of an adolescent. She grew up quickly when I split from her Dad, she saw me as a vunerable person with feelings no different from her own and I do think at times I try too hard to be her friend rather than her Mum – because I need a friend in her!

A typical day involves her having a pants episode when getting dressed, messing around getting ready for school and then complaining that I am nagging at her to hurry up. After school she will start whining before we have left the school playground. If I ask her what she has been up to at school she snaps at me. Anything I ask her to do she comes out with “I have to do everything” even though all I ask of her is that she tidiesthe toys in an evening and she takes her cups back to the kitchen when finished. I think for a 7 year old that is pretty fair. She shouts and screams at me for the slightest thing, and when I try to discipline her she has a full on tantrum, like a 2 year old would. H has started copying this in that when I say “no” to her, she has a tantrum too.

Yesterday I had a chat with her and told her that if a Police man told her off for something she wouldn’t react the same way. She agreed with me, so I said she should have the same respect for me and her Grandparents because while she is a child, I am like a Police man to her. She kind of understood so I clarified by explaining the Police make sure everyone keeps within the law, which is really a list of laws. So in the same respect, I make sure she keeps the rules of our family. Just as the Police punish people who break the law, so I will punish her if she breaks our rules. After school yesterday B came home and she didn’t raise her voice once, she did what I asked and I was the parent not the friend. Today she woke up and it started again. I reminded her of our chat on many occassions and it did no good. She spent an hour today being sent to her room for her back chat and squealing and I even threw out one of her toys after a tantrum outburst had her throwing it across the room.

Tomorrow I plan to draw up a set of house rules with B, both rules for her and me and these will be on display. Maybe then she will keep the rules better. If not it will have to be the reintroduction of her Incentive Chart – but this only ever seems to work in the short term, until she has earnt what she wants. So if anyone has any other suggestions of things they have tried, or that spring to mind when reading this, then I am all ears!! In the mean time, this sums her up perfectly………

There was a little girl,
And she had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.

There Was a Little Girl,  - Who Had a Little Curl - English Children's Songs - England - Mama Lisa's World: Children's Songs and Rhymes from Around the World, Comment Image

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March 6, 2010 - Posted by | Parenting | , , , ,

11 Comments »

  1. It is true that kids these days do not have the same respect as we did.

    I make that clear to them all the time.

    A great book for you to read as well is “How to talk so kids will listen, how to listen so kids will talk” By Faber and Mayzlish. Highly recommended!

    Comment by newdaynewlesson | March 6, 2010 | Reply

    • Brill thankyou will definitly get hold of that one – am going into work ith families of young children soon so will help for that too! It’s difficult to teach respect when fewer and fewer families seem to up hold it as a value these days – unfortunatly alot of the attitudes our kids have come from peers rather than us as parents!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 6, 2010 | Reply

  2. Don’t 100% agree. A lot does come from us. I wrote a post about that which I think will be posted on Tuesday on madmanicmamas ( http://madmanicmamas.blogspot.com/ )

    Comment by newdaynewlesson | March 6, 2010 | Reply

    • I’m in no way saying it doesn’t come from us, kids spend long enough being taught by us as parents before school comes into it and ultimately the onus is on us to put right the behaviours that are wrong, but B contstantly refers to a friend and what she is like – whether it be true or not her perception is that her friends act as she acts and so it makes my job harder. I’ll be sure to check out your post on Tuesday xx

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 6, 2010 | Reply

  3. Of course they learn from peers but seems my kids know that at home many times what I expect from them is different than what they get away with when not at home IYKWIM

    Comment by newdaynewlesson | March 6, 2010 | Reply

    • Oh I completely agree with that, which is exactly why I am trying everything I can to get her to see her behaviour is not acceptable regardless of how she percieves others are. There just seems no reasoning at the mo, when ever I try and change her behaviour she screams so loud – she even scares her sister the way she goes off, it’s not healthy! Checked out the book and ordered it already, looks like an interesting angle and written in a way to get through to parents so thanks for the recommend!!!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 6, 2010 | Reply

  4. You are quite welcome and you won’t regret reading it-even if it helps you with even just one skill.

    Comment by newdaynewlesson | March 7, 2010 | Reply

  5. oh dear, poor you! It’s bad enough that we know they will become teenagers without having them starting this early! If it’s any consolation my 3.5 year old has started this already. Yesterday she told me that she didn’t love me, she loved her grandma. I’m guessing because grandma didn’t make her eat all her dinner before she could have a biscuit. sigh.

    I think this book that newdaynewlesson talks about sounds great – I’m going to get myself a copy.

    Comment by Heather | March 7, 2010 | Reply

    • I’veordered off Amazon and willprobably review on here too but you can read the first few pages on there so did that and think it looks promising!

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 7, 2010 | Reply

  6. Oh, poor you. I have all this ahead of me with my Youngest – shes so angry and shes only one! I think you did very well to come up with the Policeman idea and I do hope the house rules work.
    I have tagged you in a meme today at my blog – hope you don’t mind!
    http://naturalmummy.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-first-meme-photo-lottery.html

    Comment by Natural Mummy | March 7, 2010 | Reply

    • Yeah we had a mediocre day today, we’ll see how it goes but we made a start on talking about rules. Thanks for the tag xx

      Comment by supersinglemum | March 7, 2010 | Reply


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