The Reintroduction Of Daddy

Regular readers will know that my Ex has been working away for the last 3 1/2 months and I’m not going to pretend I haven’t enjoyed it. He was due back last Friday but due to the Icelandic Volcano erupting on Thursday, that’s all on hold at the moment. The plan had been that he would spend some time here with the girls on Saturday morning and then take them back to his with him till Tuesday morning, when he would drop them to school and nursery. Then J (his new partner) would collect them on Thursday afternoon to take them with her to his Medal Parade and then they would again stay at his over night.

 

Due to natural occurrences beyond anyone’s control he has obviously not got back yet, but through some long winded itinery they are now hopefully going to be back by Wednesday. That means the Parade will most probably still go ahead. It does however leave me in a little bit of a quandary. Before I start, I am in no way trying to stop him seeing my girls as much as he wants when he gets back – but I do have a gut worry about how it’s all going to effect H.

 

H lately has had a massive attachment to me. She hates it when I leave her at nursery, walk out the room, or even leave her with my Mum, who she sees 4 or 5 times a week and used to willingly go to on every occasion. My worry is that should he return Wednesday and the parade still be on Thursday, that she will be collected by J and my MIL (who she has seen twice in the last 3 months), taken to an out door parade which is due to start bang on tea time. Then be taken back to his home and expected to sleep. B understands it all, she remembers who Daddy is and remembers his house etc. H is 21 months and although she has spoken to him on the phone in her own way a few times, she hasn’t seen him in what is a long time for a toddler.

 

B went through a similar experience at a slightly younger age. We were together then and even with him being in her home it took her a week to come round to him properly.  So my worry is based on past experience. Plus, he is going to have to face this with his other daughter he now has with J who is 8 months. It won’t be easy, but at least little L has her Mummy there the whole time, there is stability. The only stability H will have is B. So, I am kind of wondering what is my best line of action with this. Do I let her go and hope that between them they can comfort her enough. Do I let her go but insist she is brought home afterwards rather than stay at his. Or do I say B can go but not H – which I really don’t want to do for a number of reasons. Had I not been at work I would willingly take my girls with me. As much as my relationship with him is over and ended in a lot of hurt, I really do respect what he has to do for his job and am proud to be a part of that even if far removed now. I just don’t want to cause unnecessary upset to my daughter by just going along with the plan as if nothing has changed.

 

I guess at the end of the day I will just have to wait until he is home and then discuss it with him. But I would really love some feedback as to how it’s best to deal with this, best for H that is. I want her to have a relationship with her Dad, but I don’t want her to feel it is forced upon her. Parenting is hard enough at the best of times eh!!!